Questions for Lou

Lou is coming to my school to help with an assembly I'm in charge of. We've decided to have a bit of fun by seeing how many Spurs references we can get in during our 15 minutes in the spotlight. Something along these lines:

Q. The oboe is a pretty unique instrument. What made you decide to start playing the oboe?

A. Wel, the first time I saw the brilliant French oboist, Daviid Ginola, I knew then that the oboe was the only instrument for me. He played with such style and panache, thrilling crowds wherever he played. When the oboe is played like that, there is no better feeling in the world of music.

Q. Do you have any favourite composers?

A. Of the traditional composers, it has been to be Mozart, but I have to say that of all the composers I enjoy, nobody comes close to the little-known British composer, Sir William Nicholson, whose piece, Vitcor Geminus (double winners), composed in 1961 sums up all that I love in music.

Any other suggestions for questions and answers we might be able to throw in? Lou will also get in a refrain of 'Spurs are on their way to Wembley' in the middle of a Mozart piece she will play. It should be fun and will make sure that the whole thing is videoed.

So, suggestions for questions needed.

Q. What nation has the most over rated composers ?

A. The French. Take Arsin Wagner the French composer who was infamous for sleeping with children. His odes to the Middle Eastern nations such as 'I will sell my mother for Emirates Air tickets' in B minor is now widely acknowledged as a nadir in classical music of this period. Latterly Historians have found that he lied about his past and moved homes closer to Mozart when he got dumped out of his own group of classical musicians. I believe Mozarts' 'Fuckus Off You Nomadic Shitus Cuntus' in A sharp is about this incident.

Which artists do you want to work with most?

Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle. Diamond Lights is the most underrated song in the history of music.