Report - SiHKFC v CSC 3-1

If the Carling Cup Final was the way Juande Ramos announced to the world that a new era of Spurs dominance had begun, then the match between SiHKFC and Chelsea Supporters Club (CSC) may well be the watershed performance that we have been waiting for here in HK. Pre-match intelligence had us down as the underdogs, pitted against the considerable manpower and might of the CSC forces. Edman spoke highly of their quicksilver wingers; rumours spread as to their pre-match tryout which saw them pick from a squad of 30. With SiHKFC missing several regulars, an uphill battle lay ahead.

Predictably, the match began in attritional fashion, with an early slugfest for midfield superiority. Even in those early stages though, it was clear SiHKFC was the more professionally-honed outfit. With the likes of Edman, Kinson, Stu and yours truly rotating in defence to repel everything hoisted to CSC’s lanky Crouch impersonator, and the midfield buzzing with the energy of Linesmann, Tony, Benny and Sam, the ball was our plaything and CSC had no answer to the link-up play of FatYid and James. Even with an Abramovich associate in the shape of the nitpicker of a referee (rant alert: telling off ETP for a trademark hard-but-fair sliding tackle but neglecting to do the same for any of Chelsea’s more blatant hacks), CSC did not appear to have any answer to our neat triangles and off-the-ball movement.

It came as no surprise that we soon took the lead, with the impressive Waddle9 slaloming round the keeper to ease one over the line. John et al on the touchline led the celebrations. After another spell of pressure, a very presentable chance which fell to FatYid could have seen us go two up but instead, on the cusp of half-time, CSC grabbed a fortuitous equaliser. The ball was hoiked over from a corner kick, taking a bounce before being swept home. 1-1 and very much game on.

If fears began to abound that there would be a trademark Spurs capitulation on the horizon, they were happily unfounded. SiHKFC took the lead midway through the second half with a goal which must have been crafted in Bill Nicholson’s dreams. The scrapping Linesmann seized on a loose ball and set Waddle9 free with a slide-rule pass. Opening up his barrel-chested frame, Waddle9 curled the ball around the advancing keeper and wheeled away in celebration. It was Classic Crooks, Vintage Villa, Archetypal Archibald. In making the pass, the virtuoso Linesmann was clattered into and immediately substituted, his ankle having been turned. But the pain he felt must have been considerably less than that of the CSC squad after this dagger-strike of a goal.

A third goal was soon ours, with FatYid plundering the goal his efforts had deserved with a rasping strike. The cherry on the whipped cream on the icing on the bagel. As CSC poured forward in search of goals, SiHKFC held firm and recorded a famous victory, after a mind-frazzling 15 minutes or so of added-time.

This was as good and as polished a performance as SiHKFC has given since its inception. The defence allayed pre-match scare-mongering on this very board by communicating loudly and effectively, with Edman and Sam organising and cajoling great efforts from their counterparts, and yours truly doing a passable impression of a Tourette’s riddled Larry David. In midfield, energy levels never dropped and the link-up play was superb throughout. An unselfish performance from James, holding up the ball with his usual aplomb, was another highlight, and made the touchline shouts of “HK’s Darren Bent” seem slightly uncharitable. Chris and Dannyboy put in their usual good stints and shored up the flagging backline. Paul provided a late cameo which was vital as legs tired. CK played a great game as our “sweeping keeper”, showing the kind of alertness that Ramos probably dreams of as he trawls Youtube looking for a new custodian.

A famous victory for SiHK over the South West London Infidels and one which the CSC faithful are sure to want to put right the next time the SiHK roadshow comes to the Valley. Naturally we won’t let them. Because – nyah nyah – we won and bragging rights are now ours for life. To be fair the game was played in the correct (if not entirely Corinthian) spirit and we must thank all those involved for putting together a great day of football.

And so to the Jockey, for some well-earned Diet Cokes. In the immortal words of Edman, with SiHK set to face the horrid Arsenal miscreants in the next Clash of the Supporters Clubs, we are most certainly “not yet finished”. <childish snigger alert> Rumours that those very words were heard being howled from the central changing rooms after some soap slipped from his grasp are, as yet, unsubstantiated.

- Just/ETP

ps thanks to John for the support and Edman for the energy-ejaculating supply of post-match beers.

Superb report ETP to match our superb performance!

Barrel Chested???!?!?!?

I've lost 8kgs since Christmas!

Waddle9 wrote:

Barrel Chested???!?!?!?

I've lost 8kgs since Christmas!

It's a compliment, is it not? They always used it in the gutter press to describe Alan Shearer...

Mickey Quinn I think

barrel-chested Definition barrel-chested (--c̸hes′tid)

adjective

having an especially broad, deep chest for one's height.

Barrel chested = James Beattie

If you google "barrel-chested" and "footballer" the first thing you get is:

Football: Dowie vows to silence all the doubters.(Sport)
The Mirror (London, England); Sep 3, 1999; Dunne, Glenn; 470 Words BARREL-CHESTED striker Iain Dowie has a steely determination to prove the critics wrong.

There you have it:

Barrel-chested = Iain Dowie.

Spoiler:

DannyBoy wrote:

Barrel-chested = Iain Dowie.

Spoiler:

So Barrel-chested = Ugly, Quasimodo, Sub-Ogrizovic?

I'm confused now.

You tell me, you used the term!

Sounds like we have the beginning of another SiHK nickname though...

DannyBoy wrote:

You tell me, you used the term!

Sounds like we have the beginning of another SiHK nickname though...

THE BARREL.

A bit like Papa Bouba Diop being known as THE WARDROBE at the Cottage.

Sounds like a winner!

Waddle9 wrote:

Barrel Chested???!?!?!?

I've lost 8kgs since Christmas!

What did you do, cut your arm off?

Janek wrote:

Waddle9 wrote:

Barrel Chested???!?!?!?

I've lost 8kgs since Christmas!

What did you do, cut your arm off?

that's just a flesh wound

Nice Report,

But no Man of the Match? Modesty forbids putting my own name forward therefore I would suggest that is's between:

MOTM
Dan "THE BARREL" - for 2 goals on debut
Sambell - for running for every ball (lost cause or not)
Edman - For bringing beer

let the people decide...

The Barrel for me

I'll vote for The Barrel too. Took his 2 goals with expertise.

Superb report, mate. No mention though of the crowd trouble, flares being thrown on the pitch or the streaker???

MOM imho has to be The Barrel

Loudest player - Dannyboy

Tackle of the match - Pitbull

Push of the match - Barry Lineker

Miss of the match.........well,..........

Really enjoyed Saturday, realised my lifelong dream of scoring for Spurs on my debut.
Can't wait to play again.

Dan
Waddle9
The Barrel

Great Report ETP!

Sounds like a cracking performance. Can't wait to get back into the thick of things at Tai Po!

btw one more thing to report... was in a little kerfuffle on saturday night with some maggot claiming to be affiliated to the hubcap stealers supporters club. he basically wound me up the entire time saying how rubbish spurs are and then sarcastically offered me his hand. When i refused to shake it he hit me on the chin and a fistfight erupted.

I told him "see you on the pitch" but we'll see, won't we?

Number 10 wrote:

Great Report ETP!

Sounds like a cracking performance. Can't wait to get back into the thick of things at Tai Po!

If you can get back in the side...

Enter The Pitbull wrote:

btw one more thing to report... was in a little kerfuffle on saturday night with some maggot claiming to be affiliated to the hubcap stealers supporters club. he basically wound me up the entire time saying how rubbish spurs are and then sarcastically offered me his hand. When i refused to shake it he hit me on the chin and a fistfight erupted.

I told him "see you on the pitch" but we'll see, won't we?

Fuck see you on the pitch, which pub was this? Let's go down there and support whoever Liverpool are playing next and sing a lot of "sign on" and "in your liverpool slum" to the scouse bastards.

Janek wrote:

If you can get back in the side...

You cheeky oik! I am the top scorer, donchaknow?

Spoiler: