Who will you be if you play for Spurs?

Given Dannyboy has kindly volunteered to write a match preview for the Saturday match, let's give him some idea of who we are like in terms of our playing style (if there is one) if we played for Spurs.

I think I will be a Nicky Barmby. Play 'in the hole' and love connecting the midfield and forward line. Appear to be intelligent in play but ineffective for most of the time! Occasionally score some lovely goals from distance but career is effectively over by the age of 27 (and I am 29).

Next one?

The sooner I have the info the sooner I can start on it.

Work has suddenly got mentally busy, so its likely I won't have the preview done till Friday/Saturday morning.

Gazza. Some sparkling touches and occasional screaming goals from 30 yards, but into my 40s now and lost what little pace I used to have. And apparently there is a passing resemblance between the two of us too.

I dunno. I still like you as Phil Neville.

Probably more accurate in terms of my normal playing position, but he's waaaay too boring for me to have chosen to be him.

I'm a Mousa Saib crossed with a Jason Dozzel

Since your playing in defence, can we also cross you with Ramon Vega?

Or if we want to be less harsh Anthony Gardner?

Speaking of which do we actually have a definitive formation at the mo? I know we dont know the numbers a-side yet. But have we got an idea whose playing where more or less?

I think we should play a modified style of total football which I like to call "totalled football" - we meet up at 7pm in Al's Diner, have a few pints and a couple of shots before making our way down to Happy Valley for our appointment with destiny. That way, if we lose we won't give a flying f**k.

Brilliant.

That's why we appointed your manager.

I would also like to throw your name into the hat for President, with brainwaves like that.

As super sub (remember, James, just 30 seconds right at the end), I have the smooth, silky skills of Gary Docherty, the shooting prowess of Steffan Freund, the pace of Nicola Berti, the tackling ability of Paulo Tremmazani and the energy levels of a sloth on valium. Bring it on! Can't wait for my 30 seconds of fame

The "tackiling" skills of Pat van den Hauwe
The "marking" skills of Claudio Gentile (not a Spurs player, but my favourite defender of all time)
The "fitness" of Matt Le Tissier (at the HK 7s)